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This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

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This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

Post by KinZil on Thu Jun 28, 2018 10:16 pm

So, I want to apologise to Noah.

I know we were in the middle of a feud, between Montino and Ethan Zee, I believe.

I should have told you what was going on and I'm sorry I didn't clarify where I was during my absence.

Also, apologies to Dashing, and I hate apologising to you because I've done it so much now, but you deserve it, because I wasn't promoing with my CAW as I should of.

Now here's the primary reason why I haven't been here, and it's really sad and embarrassing to admit it, but I feel like I have to,

I think it was May 13th, I got super drunk and I was feeling real down, like my life was mostly useless.

At that moment, I got whatever pills I found, didn't remember what they were, all I know is that I tried to commit suicide.

Once I woke up the day after, I cried a lot and wished that my body wasn't so resilient. I was too ashamed to let anybody know, and went radio silent for a month or two.
'
While I still have depression, I feel regret over what I tried to did, and I'm glad I survived it, as I would've hated to know that my parents would have gone through more pain than I ever did.

I think I'm okay and ready to return to CMV. I just thought I'd update you on my current status.

Even if you didn't care, it's good to be transparent with the ones you care about.

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Other CAWS: Bill Cipher, Luke Brinton, Kryminal, TJ Kendra


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Re: This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

Post by Solaris Arc on Thu Jun 28, 2018 10:24 pm

We are glad you're okay dude.

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Re: This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

Post by KinZil on Thu Jun 28, 2018 10:29 pm

I'm just glad to be back. I've missed you all so much.

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Re: This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

Post by Bloody_justice on Thu Jun 28, 2018 10:37 pm

KinZil we are here for you man just let us know and we will talk we are a family. Also glad those thoughts are now OBSOLETE!
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Re: This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

Post by KinZil on Thu Jun 28, 2018 10:41 pm

BJ, you have no idea how much that hits me. Kinda welling up right now.

Thank you, I love all you guys so much.

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Re: This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

Post by Bloody_justice on Thu Jun 28, 2018 11:05 pm

And we love you as well mow you have been reborn it is WONDERFUL! Lol man but seriously we espacially me am glad to see your ok
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Re: This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

Post by Master Ogon on Thu Jun 28, 2018 11:46 pm

Even though you and I almost never interacted, I just gained a ton of respect for you. I'm glad you're safe and welcome back!
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Re: This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

Post by HellishxHades on Fri Jun 29, 2018 12:24 am

Kinzil, I'm not gonna lie. I have had the thoughts that this world would be a better place without me, but never had it in me to end it. Let this be a lesson for you in the future, that no matter how you feeling, you have something or someone watching over you, cause don't take this the wrong way. You beat death. 

I know I'm never the best with people, and im not a saint, probably the most likely to burn in hell (if there was one). But what you just did, is the first step to recovery, to become a better person. To become something that most people can't even imagine. Letting us know your state, knowing you have a community here that you can talk to. That will help, should help you on your journey.

If it seem like I rambled, I'm sorry. That's how I get my thoughts out. I will give you this tho to think about. 

In the arms of death,
She held me tight.
Loving me like no one,
Has before. 

I thought it was done,
No more pain,
No more guilt,
No more nothing.

But Death whispered into my ears,
You are not done, Sweet child if mine.
You have a life to live,
You have loved one, that care.

You may have seeked a way out,
Into my cold lifeless arms,
But I can't keep you here,
For it's not your time.

You have a whole life,
A head of you.
Take this second chance,
And make it,
All that you can.

I know my poetry ain't the best but, please take it. If you ever want anyone to msg or talk to, pm me and I give you my number and we can communicate. Or Facebook. I'm here for you.

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Re: This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

Post by KinZil on Fri Jun 29, 2018 1:12 am

Don't be sorry for rambling, I welcome your poem 100%!

I will take any help I can get right now, so I respect your outreach so much, thank you for the kind words, I'll definitely keep them in mind when I'm feeling down!

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Other CAWS: Bill Cipher, Luke Brinton, Kryminal, TJ Kendra


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Re: This is gonna suck trying to explain. (DONT CLICK IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, NOT FOR YOU)

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